A gap is defined as a 'a break or a space in an object or between 2 objects'. It also means a difference, an undesirable one, between 2 views or situations" and it is the latter definition that Coaches are often called upon to address with their Coachees.
There are many different points between situations that might be considered as gaps. Gaps can express the distance between time e.g. present vs future, now vs later states e.g. beginner vs expert, novice vs professional, feelings e.g confidence. There can be gaps in knowledge, skills, will, capacity and emotional intelligence. For the purposes of this reflection, the 2 situations will be called Past/ Present which is my HERE point or where/ who I am and THERE is some fixed point in the Future or where/who I want to be.
In Episode 13 of the Catalyst Coaching Certification Programme, Coach Sarita invited the coaches to consider one gap in their lives and to share their gap in their breakout rooms. During the sharing, it was noted that though we may identify one gap to be addressed, there may be many gaps or multiple steps to closing that one gap.
Our brains are hard wired for self-preservation and tend to cling to existing beliefs which have helped us survive. We may introspect independently and this is useful. However, to effectively 'disrupt' its own thinking patterns, our brain requires an external stimulus to produce a different response and a Coach is the stimulus in a process for deeper learning.
The Gap and the State of Mind
Coach Sarita noted that people tended to be in DENIAL about their gaps ie refusing to acknowledge that there is a GAP. This could be that they do not see the need for change and growth or if they do, are not cognizant of the things which may be limiting their change.
They were also possibly JUDGING themselves or others ie having an inaccurate view of their abilities or opportunies. This might express itself as "I have no problem about reaching my goals because I am unlimited." or "I am not qualified to achieve this and therefore I can't."
JUDGING and DENIAL can be self sabotaging and lead to DESPAIR which then blocks thinking about possibilities.
Gaps do not represent lack of confidence in a Coachee and should not be regarded as negative. Tthe Coach has to begin to shift the Coachee's focus so they can be seen as opportunities for Coachees to become better versions of themselves.
The Gap Framework
The phrase "Mind the Gap" comes from the train announcement from London's Tube as a misstep through a space between the train and the platform might result in an accident. It has become an apt metaphor as 'minding' also means to take care of, pay attention to and acknowledge the importance of gaps in life.
The Coach works with the Coachee to IDENTIFY gaps. As mentioned, this is very preliminary as the gap the Coachee may name can change. Of the many gaps, the Coachee should choose one gap which is most important. This helps the Coachee become more SELF-AWARE.
The Coach INVITES the Coachee to give attention to the gap without having a specific outcome in mind and not advising or judging. Rather, reflective enquiry or drawing from the Coachee's answers, the Coach re-expresses these as questions to help the Coachee think. Is this consistent? Is there evidence to support the thinking? This process of ANALYSIS leads to considering ALTERNATIVES. What might be other ways to achieve those results?
At this stage, the Coach partners with the Coachee to revise and envision his original gaps with a stronger understanding of the impact of his new learning. This is IGNITING the Coachee towards ACTION.
Tackling the Gap
Coach Sarita referenced The Three Gaps by Hyrum W. Smith. In an interview with Kathy Caprino, Smith talks about the gaps as being
Values - the difference between what we value most in life and where we invest our time and energy
Beliefs - our beliefs about how the world works are accumulated from birth and they govern our behaviour. However not all behaviours meet our needs.
Time - the difference between certain timelines and goals which we feel we must fulfil and our anxiety that we do not have the time to complete them.
In the same article, Smith suggests ways of tackling the Belief gap and I have reframed this according to the Gap Framework in Point 2.
Another way of tackling the Gap will be to examine a REVERSE Gap. Instead of looking from the perspective of HERE to THERE which might not be meaningful because the THERE is intangible, the Coach works with the Coachee to look retrospectively by asking What are the reasons why you have not been able to fill this gap? Anchored in the current reality, the Coachee might feel safe enough to explore more deeply
Reflections/ Takeaways
I greatly appreciated the practical aspect of this webtorial of taking someone briefly through their gap. Although I was not coached but coaching, I could see already that there are many blinkers which prevent us from having a clear view of what is keeping us from our desired goals and objectives. Clarity is not cheap and comes with the price of the pain of reality sometimes.
It was a big learning point to see the connection between behavior and belief and that to change a behavior we need to find the belief. In trying to do my own values, beliefs and time gap assessments, it can be a big revelation to see how they don't match up.
I am reminded that self-reflection is good and useful but a Coach would be able to draw out more and do more deep work. Good old brain is sometimes overprotective and we need to recognise this.
Although it seems like a simple framework of getting someone from HERE to THERE. the challenge is transforming an entrenched belief and value system into action because until they see and are convinced it is hard to change. Hence the Coach has to be very skilled in minding the gap with the Coachee.
It is critical that we do not lose hope and we encourage our Coachees to press in. Despair is debilitating and we must work to sometimes crack through the limiting thoughts. Cracks are after all Gaps and will allow light in.
Final Takeaway
While people desire growth and progression, often they focus first on what to do to get there rather than addressing what might be key issues which might have affect the process of growth. Coaching the gap helps to identify these issues and gives clarity to make the right action plans that count toward the desired goals. Trying to figure out too quickly how to get the Coachee to his desired goal is problem solving whereas contemplating the gap forces the brain to work hard to come up with more options and better ones from which a better plan can be constructed. The effects are more long-term and more importantly, when one discovers what has held him back in one area of his life, it probably affects other major areas in his life. Developing awareness and understanding and applying the new learning will set them free and transform them for life
Coach Maire, signing off.
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