Since the dawn of civilisation, the Greeks contemplated deep existential questions - Who am I? Where do I come from? Where am I going? Socrates, the great thinker and philosopher assumed the position that the teacher was ignorant and solely posed questions to his students to instruct thinking and change. Einstein's Theory of Relativity was sparked by a beautiful question "What if I rode a beam of light across the universe?. Questions undoubtedly have the power to spark growth and questions can change the course of history.
In Episode 11 of the Catalyst Coaching Certification Programme, Coach Louise led us through a deep dive into The Power of Questions. It was a very dense session with a lot of information to unpack on a topic which we tend to take at surface value.
Why Do Questions Have Such Power?
Questions determine our focus. Tony Robbins says, "Where focus goes, energy flows" and therefore the questions we ask determine what level of attention we will pay to that area of life. The areas which are neglected might also experience change if we examine the questions we are not asking.
Our thought processes get hijacked by Questions. An automatic reflex called Instinctive Elaboration is triggered when someone asks us a question and the brain goes off in search of the answers. David Hoffeld, in an article in Fast Company talks about what the brain does when it hears a question.
Interestingly, research in neuroscience has revealed that once the train of the brain starts chugging on that track, it cannot switch tracks so easily and can only pursue one idea at a time. Therefore ask only one question at a time.
Stacking questions overwhelms the brain and the brain cannot cope. Hence, the person will only answer the last question he hears and hardly register the first one he was asked.
We must allow time and space for the question to land ie give people space and time to explore and reflect. Allowing silences, waiting for answers makes the brain work harder and over time strengthens thinking and problem solving
Even if we might think that rephrasing a question might make it clearer, the brain perceives it as a separate question. Questions should be kept short and simple, avoiding jargon of any kind. We should use the same language that the Coachee uses but clarifying its meaning if unclear eg if he is wishing to gain more confidence, that might mean a host of different things to people and therefore some level of unpacking needs to be done.
Once the brain is prompted to contemplate a change in behavior, the probability of change will increase substantially eg asking the question whether someone might have the intention to donate blood raised national rates by 8.6%. They also cited a survey of 40,000 people who were asked whether there was an intention to buy a car within the next 6 months and sales of cars went up by 35%.Therefore Questions have the power to influence behaviour and we should not underestimate this.
Coach Louise shared research from Claire Norman's book The Transformational Coach" that showed once the train of thought it is derailed, it takes up to 23 minutes to reset to get it back on track. Hence we should carefully ask questions that proceed along the same focus especially when our coaching sessions are between 60 - 90 minutes. The Coachee could be digging deeper than scraping the surface and not wasting the 23 Minutes
She also reassured us that because of Instinctive Elaboration, the brain is so focused immediately on the question it was being asked, the Coachee (whoever he was) would have no room to assess whether the questions were pertinent or maybe only after. Therefore we should not fear, be self-conscious nor lack confidence but ask anyway.
More About the Purpose/ Power of Questions
Questions Inspire Thought - Some of us don't think about things until questions make us conscious of the gaps in our knowledge or understanding.
Questions Reduce Instructions - Rather than provide a to-do list, the Coach allows the Coachee to identify all the steps that are necessary to achieve his goals. This validates the relationship founded on the belief that the Coachee has the answers and also increases Coachee's accountability for his actions
Questions Encourage Independence - In The Coaching Habit, Michael Bungay Stanier advocates that managers inculcate the habits of a coach by asking 7 simple questions to free oneself from "three vicious circles that plague our workplaces: creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed and becoming disconnected.” When the staff/ Coachee is independently working out the answers, he develops autonomy. This is necessary to take them past a coaching relationship. A manager who coaches is freed to do his own work and focus on managing his staff.
Questions Light Up Insight - By encouraging the Coachee to explore the question in depth, the conditions are ripe for illumination a.k.a The Aha! Moment. The Fast Company article mentions that when a question is asked, the whole brain lights up and seratonin is released and this relaxes the brain allowing it to search for answers and develop solutions for problems.
Questions Stimulate Innovation - Following the release of seratonin, dopamine is released. This hormone associated with pleasure, motivation and learning is said to instigate a person to become caught up in the flow, increasing his desire to reach higher levels of achievement.
Questions Reimagine Possibilities - Each Coachee comes with his box of stories - experiences that are connected to their worldviews and beliefs. A coach's role is to expand that box and to break the the frame around that box to allow new thinking to enter it. Questions help them look at things from a different perspectives.
Types of Questions For purposes of brevity, this is a list of the types of questions. Any notes on these will be found in my Final Takeaways
The 5W and 1H a.k.a. The 5 Wives and One Husband
Open-ended and Close-ended questions.
Chunking Questions (Breadth and Depth)
Scaling Questions
What If Questions
Laser Questions
Miracle Questions
Reflections
In my Blog title, I have highlighted 'POW' as in impact and 'QUEST' as mission/ aim/ objective. Questions are like missiles - Aim the right question at the correct objective in order to create the maximum impact.
What does my Coachee need? How free can I set him in this session?
What is the purpose of this line of questioning? Where will this lead me? What information will I get that might lead to new insights and provoke change in my Coachee's belief and behavior? How does this align with the Coachee's own goals?
How can I become a sharp shooter by asking question that do not confuse or overwhelm the Coachee and draw out the process longer than necessary?
In order to ask the right questions, it is necessary for the Coach to first develop his skill at listening actively.
How can I give him more time and space to think about each question? How can I build greater faith for both of us that he has the answers? What other ways can I build trust?
What feeling words does he use vs statements? What might he not be expressing in avoiding feeling words
What words does he keeps repeating? Where are the vocal pauses? What seems to spark changes in energy levels? What am I noticing about his posture? How can I help him explore these non verbals in a kind way?
Our effectiveness lies not just in what we ask but how we ask.
What will keep me present and focused on the conversation instead of trying to scour the inside of my brain for the next question to ask.
When I ask WHY, how can I communicate it as a sincere desire to know and not insinuating that there were better options? Am I overly tentative and coming across as uncertain? What was the tone of my question like?
What about my own posture? What could negatively or positively be seen as my own body language?
I found the learning about Instinctive Elaboration very useful. Who knew we could momentarily stun people with questions although I am miffed that we are actually not good at multitasking. I just wonder if more studies of this natural reflex could increase our focus and reduce scattered thinking.
Final Takeaway
I must admit that when I first started on this Coaching Journey, I bought and borrowed many books on Coaching Questions and watched a lot of videos. It seemed like a super-efficient way of dealing with any kind of coaching relationship - just have a right set of questions which you can apply to any situation and be Supercoach! I now recognise that these books are good guides but nothing replaces human communication - connecting by asking a question for the person in front of me sincerely for his benefit and not for my own sense of confidence. This is the same point that Marion Franklin, Marcia Reynolds and Merci Miglino make - Coaching is not just about what the questions are but how we use them that gives them power.
Powerful Questions do not just exist for our Coachees but provide valuable checks on our own values and motivations. We might not have all the answers for the questions we ask ourselves but as Socrates once said "The unexamined life is not worth living." When we sit comfortably with Powerful Questions, they will flow out naturally of us naturally and we must trust ourselves with that.
PS. I love that the brain is so focused trying to find answers to questions in Instinctive Elaboration that it doesn't have space to judge. There is so much grace in that and even wrong questions can be redeemed.
Coach Maire, peace out!
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